Wit Twain Wilde Authors

As per challenge number 3, an essay. By me.

The Atlantic ocean is the second largest in the world. It serves as the bridge between America and Europe. In the late nineteenth century, it also served as the relative distance between two of the most influential writers to put pen to paper. Although not as prolific as most modern writers in terms of novels, Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde were at the forefront of their respective literary movements, and as such, stand as the watermark seen in the writing of those to follow.

Samuel Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was the sixth of seven children, three of which died before entering adulthood. Sadly, this was to remain a recurring theme, as his father, daughters and wife all died before he was laid to rest. His younger brother fell victim to a steamboat explosion after gaining employment at Clemens' insistence. These events led to varying stages of depression which he dealt with throughout his life.

Clemens lacked a formal education, learning instead through public libraries. He was awarded an honorary degree from Oxford towards the twilight of his life.

Oscar Wilde was one of three children, though he also had two step-sisters and a brother from his father's extramarital affairs. Like Clemens, his family fell victim to early deaths. His step sisters burned to death when their dresses caught fire, his sister Isola died of meningitis at the age of eight and his father passed when he was twenty-two. It's likely that his father's journeys outside of marriage and Wilde's close relationships with the women in his family played a part in his Aesthetic movement and subsequent venture into homosexuality. Unlike Clemens, however, Wilde had a more classical schooling, first being home-schooled and tutored, then attending Oxford.

It was at Oxford that Wilde would become enthralled by the Aesthetic movement; living life as art, or art for art's sake. He would begin touring and lecturing on the Aesthetic values, best represented by Dorian Gray, the protagonist of his only novel, The Picture Of Dorian Gray, whom led 'a perfectly useless life.' Wilde took to growing out his hair and wearing flowers on his breast while openly mocking pre-conceived notions of manliness. The movement was characterized by excess, both in expenditure and gluttony, as well as the appreciation of beauty. Dorian becomes another prime example of this, as other male characters become captivated by his appearance.

In effect, Wilde became an agent of change. Though often mocked for his 'dandyism' the movement took hold and became acceptable. In 1885 the Criminal Law Amendment Act was passed in England, effectively outlawing (male) homosexuality. This did not stop Wilde from taking male lovers. He was a pacifist and a socialist, arguing for reforms in, not only the Criminal Act, but in prisons, as well. 'The Importance Of Being Earnest,' his most famous and most enduring work satirizes Victorian England, playing upon the social obligations inherent in society. His work seems to speak of a world he envisions in the future.

Clemens was also a social advocate, supporting abolition and women's suffrage. His most famous works have often been banned from the classroom, however, due mainly to the repeated use of the word nigger, which was commonly used at the time of the publication (pre-civil war). He started as a journalist writing humorous short stories based on his travels across the U.S. This led to a series of tours and offers from newspapers to travel and write anecdotal tales about his journeys. In doing so, he romanticized America, becoming a part of Americana itself. Most Americans today are familiar with the scenes in his novels, even if they haven't read them. Tom Sawyer whitewashing a fence is easily the best example of this.

He became friends with presidents and corporate tycoons while endearing himself to the common man, having been called both 'the greatest humorist of his age' and 'the father of American literature.' This did not stop him from losing much, if not all, his money in bad investments, however. Namely the Paige typesetting machine and a failed publishing house. He was able to recover and pay off his debts through an overseas lecturing tour.

Wilde, on the other hand had a number of enemies and fell out of grace towards his final years. He was taken to court on account of his trysts with men, which became public knowledge after a failed libel suit against the Marquess of Queensberry. As per the Criminal Act, he was given the maximum of two years in prison, after which he went into a self imposed exile in France. There he resumed the Dandy lifestyle, living with a former lover. He died several years later of meningitis, much like his sister, whom he wrote the poem Requiescat after.

Clemens passed in a more poetic manner. A heart attack the day after the passing of Halley's Comet. The same comet which streaked across the sky on the day of his birth. His home was later turned into a museum in his honor. Clemens went on to inspire such writers as Kurt Vonnegut and Ernest Hemingway. His work continues to be catalogued, though many of his speeches and lectures were never written down.

Though Contemporaries, Wilde and Clemens never interacted. Their works are bound only by the wit and humor behind them. Their messages, while different remain timeless. Wilde was known to take over a room with his giant frame and charm. Clemens was more restrained, though a natural storyteller and comedian. To wit, comparing them is like comparing an apple to an orange.

Top Ten CDS Of 2009

2009 may very well be remembered as the year we lost Michael Jackson. There can be no year end review of music without the briefest mentioning of him. Say what you will about his eccentric behavior on and off the stage, but the man could put on a show. And while we may have lost one of the greatest entertainers of our, or any other generation, there are an ample amount of acts vying to fill the open spot he has left in the industry and our collective consciousness. I don't presume to throw any of these people on to such a pedestal or proclaim them the new music royalty, but damned if this wasn't a good year for music. From the return to form of Hip-Hop, to the Rock supergroups, and all the genres in between, the plate that's been served has left us all salivating and begging for seconds.

As a preface to this article, it should be noted that I come in with a heavy bias. I listen to a very wide variety of music, but throughout the course of the year I tend to ignore artists I haven't particularly liked in the past, as per my own tastes, as I'm sure most of you do as well. In preparing a 'best of' list, I've made an effort to seek out albums I missed and/ or ignored to have a fair and balanced view of the music landscape that was 2009. That said, there's every possibility I've missed a few key albums. Their exclusion from this list does not speak against their quality, but rather, my interest in them. Now on to the meat and potatoes.

10- Spinal Tap - Back From The Dead

As part of the 25th anniversary of the release of This Is Spinal Tap, the group reunited and rerecorded many of the original tracks, giving the world what it so desperately required, complete and fully mastered versions of the original tracks from the movie. Tongue and cheek aside, this is a surprisingly good album. There are a number of original tracks included, with the

occasional guest appearance by a Steve Vai, John Mayer, and a few others; not to mention several re-imaginings of the original classics, such as a Funk version of Sex Farm and a Reggae version of (Listen To The) Flower People.

The thing that's so great about them, and sets them apart from contemporaries such as Steel Panther, is that as satirical as they are, they tread the line so well that you forget they're not a REAL rock band. At least not in the sense that they're constantly creating and touring. They have the musical pedigree to deliver and they do. The recurring Jazz Odyssey is proof enough of that. It's only when you hear them talk about the Druids of Stonehenge or listen to the lyrics in Big Bottom that the line is no longer blurred. My only complaint is that the album goes a

mite bit long.

They rocked me too hard.

9- Alice In Chains - Black Gives Way to Blue

It's been 14 years since their last effort as a group, the self titled Alice In Chains, and 7 years since the death of front man Layne Staley. After reuniting for a benefit concert in 2006, the group began touring and recording material with new singer William DuVall.

It's eerie. He sounds like Layne. But he doesn't. The music is all at once modern, but unchanged. This album is a natural progression from their previous work, which is unexpected. At least to me. My expectation was that of a stagnant sound, from a band that's been on hiatus for over a decade coming to terms with replacing a member and all the growing pains that come along with that. I've never been happier to be wrong.

Taking Nostalgia out of the picture does nothing to lessen the impact of the album. Cantrell delivers brutal riffs, as evidenced on A Looking In View and Check My Brain, and subdued rhythm on When The Sun Rose Again. DuVall's wails float through this soundscape with a deep level of maturity that pulls one in by the heart strings and doesn't let go. This IS your daddy's rock and roll.

8- The Dead Weather - Horehound

Of the two Supergroups to put out records this year, The Dead Weather delivered the most satisfying sound this year. While Them Crooked Vultures has the novelty of putting Dave Grohl on drums again, it comes across as another Queens Of The Stone Age album, which isn't bad in and of itself. In fact, it's a quality album. Just not a top ten contender.

One could make the argument that having Jack White on drums is a novelty all unto itself, as well. However, that argument is moot, as he is known for his virtuoso guitar playing, despite starting out as a drummer, and plays both on the album. Round the Group out with The Kills Singer Alison Mosshart, The Raconteurs' guitarist Jack Lawrence, and Queens of the Stone Age bassist Dean Fertita and you've got a variety of viewpoints and influences. The ensuing sound is both experimental and a pleasure to listen to. It's hard to imagine this album was laid out and recorded in two and a half weeks.

This frenetic pace is evident in the unrelenting attack of the tracks, one after the other, on the auditory senses. Hang you From the Heavens is straight rock and roll as one comes to expect, carried by a catchy drum beat. The sound expands from there, incorporating synthesizers and a Tennessee sound, familiar to fans of The White Stripes. This is the sound I miss from Jack White. He gels so well with Mosshart, Lawrence and Fertita. You can tell they're all having a blast.

7- Nat King Cole - Re:Generations

I owe Facebook a debt of gratitude for introducing me to this album. Yes, it's intrusive to have the site market to me through their ads by pulling information from my profile and postings, but they hit the nail on the head with this suggestion. While Cole has been dead for over 4 decades, his impact on music is palpable. The 13 tracks on this remix album allow different producers, DJs, and groups to pay homage to someone who influenced them by reintroducing him to a new generation and adding a bit of their own flavor to his sound.

The opening track, Lush Life, is Cee-Lo, of Goodie Mob and Gnarles Barkley fame, placing Cole's smooth voice over a Hip-Hop beat with bangin' results. The pairings are brilliant. Brazilian Girls take the Spanish track El Choclo and give it their own spin while also providing a new chorus. The album also features appearances by NaS, TV On The Radio and Cut Chemist.

As a whole, there's not a bad track to be found. Whether you like Jazz, lounge, Hip-Hop or Soul, this album does not disappoint.

6- DJ I.N.C & The Soul People - Tha Afterset Sessions, Vol. 2

No top ten list would be complete without a pretentious pick of an album few people have even heard of. Outside of Chicago, it's doubtful that anyone knows who DJ I.N.C is. I came across this album through a website that I frequent that offers up suggestions for Soul, Funk, Electronica, and in this case, Acid Jazz.

Simply put, I.N.C stands for 'I Need Cash.' The double meaning is there in Incorporated, but the bare bones of it is he's a struggling DJ, trying to make it to a bigger platform.

The Steppin' Scene is big in Chicago, and he seems to have created an anthem for it on the second track, Steppers Swagger. He brings the HEAT with his use of live instrumentation and turntables. It's got an old school feel to it, fusing a great many sounds together, mainly from the Soul and Funk pool, but without losing it's Hip-Hop vibe. Don't sleep on this album. It has

quickly become one of my favorites.

5- Mos Def - The Ecstatic

His best album since his 1999 debut, Black On Both Sides. This is a return to form for Flaco, bringing middle eastern sounds and combining them with afro-beats for a purely Mos sound. This one took me by surprise. I heard it when it first came out and abandoned it as indulgent and unimpressive. This album definitely needs multiple plays in order to sink in. Once it does, you'll kick yourself for having thought differently in the first place.

The beat on Auditorium hits on all cylinders, with a surprise appearance by Slick Rick, who just kills it on his verse. No Hay Nada Mas is this album's Umi Says with Mos exploring his singing voice, this time in Spanish. His style is eclectic and uplifting. This is what Hip-Hop should be. His lyrical poetry is a nice change from the meaningless club anthems and voice box laden tracks that dominate mainstream Hip-Hop.

Mos Definitely a necessity in anyone's music library.

4- Maxwell - BLACKsummers'night

The first in a trilogy of albums, all with the same name, after an eight year absence on the music scene. This is the BLACK album, with the next being the SUMMERS' album, and so on. While not hitting the same heights as his first album, Urban Hang Suite, this album still delivers a solid dose of SOUL. While it borders on pop, his voice is enough to keep it tethered firmly to his roots.

Unlike Prince, who released a trio of albums all at once this year, Maxwell has chosen to space his out, whetting the appetite of the music going populace and keeping the quality of his tracks high. He may have cut off his locks, but he hasn't lost any of his sound. The single Pretty Wings is vintage Maxwell, providing a soundtrack to bring a woman into your arms. There are funkier tracks, as well, providing a nice balance of slow and upbeat. Cold is driven by the drumming and superb bass line. The head bobs come naturally.

Well worth the 8 year wait. With two more albums on the horizon, it doesn't look like we'll have to wait that long again for a while.

3- Raekwon - Only Built For Cuban Linx... Part II

2009 has been a good year for the Wu, with quality releases by both Ghostface and Method Man, who teamed up with Redman for a second Blackout. But these were both trumped by the coming of Raekwon. After innumerable delays, one of the most anticipated albums of 2007 has finally hit the streets. This album has literally been in limbo for YEARS, being passed from label to label. Much of the hype comes from the title alone. Most Hip-Hop heads will tell you readily, if you don't own the first Cuban Linx, your case is missing major cred.

This is no Lex Diamond Story II, thank God. It's nice to see the concept of an album taken seriously and a story being told, rather than having a collection of singles loosely thrown together, (Jay-Z, I'm looking at you.) Ghostface is prominently featured, with guest spots by Meth on such tracks as New Wu, the first single.

II differs from the first disc in that the production has shifted from RZA alone to Dr. Dre, J Dilla, and several others lending a hand, giving the album a new flare while maintaining it's classic Wu sound. Rae may share the stage with some big names, but it's HIS stage.

2- Rodrigo Y Gabriela - 11:11

It's hard to drop the World Music label when you're an acoustic guitar duo from Mexico based out of Dublin. However, this album is a step in the right direction to accomplish that.

RyG are heavily influenced by metal, with Metallica being cited as one of their biggest influences, having covered the song Orion on their previous effort. The cover songs are gone this go around. Instead, we're left with 11 instrumental tracks, each one specifically aimed at paying homage to artists who've influenced either Rodrigo or Gabriela's playing, ranging from Carlos Santana to Dimebag Darrell. To accomplish this feat they've incorporated wah pedals and invited friends to play alongside them, thus expanding their sound.

Gabriela's rhythm playing continues to amaze, with her drumming and tapping style. And Rodrigo's melodies are flawless. The beauty of listening to their music is that the excitement of their playing translates onto the recording and gets your blood pumping. Just listen to the Dimebag tribute Atman.

1- The Mars Volta - Octahedron

Described by the band members as 'as close to an acoustic album (as they're going to make.)' This album is the most subdued TMV have played and as such, has made it the most fan friendly, mass appeal album they've released. It's a drastic change after the nonstop assault that was The Bedlam In Goliath.

It's great to see a different side to them, and I dare say this is their BEST release to date. Since it's been released, I can't even count the number of times I've listened to it all the way through. It's just solid from beginning to end.

The Led Zeppelin inspired Since We've Been Wrong starts the album on it's course, leading to possibly the best song on the disc in Teflon. Familiar sounding songs such as Cotopaxi will keep the diehard fans at bay, with it's high energy and bombastic drumming. At 8 tracks and 49 minutes, this is TMV holding back. Only one song goes above the 8 minute mark. They've strayed away from using a unifying concept for this record, and the album is better for it.

Mellow Cedric and restrained Omar = Melodious and Range

A nice departure.

I Have A Twin!

His name is Rafael Nadal and apparently he just won Wimbelden, or something, so he's a big shot. It's creepy, though. He's two years younger than I am, but he looks so much older (a few years older) than me. I'm half tempted to grow my hair out, but I'm afraid the novelty will wear off at some point during the year or two it'd take to grow it that long. And who knows, next year he might LOSE at Wimbelden. I don't want to look like a loser.

;p

HIGH- larious!

YouTube-ery

Gee-TAR!

I know what my next guitar is going to be!

This'll match perfectly with my Ovation!

Spending too much money, though... It'll have to wait 'til next year.

Blah

So I'm technically in a band. It's myself and two guys from work.

It's good times, as we're just messing around and trying to put songs together. And there's usually mass quanities of booze involved.

As of right now, we are currently unnamed.

They shot down a bunch of my ideas, including (some favorites) PMS Werewolves and Silver Medal Priests.

You know that joke, right?
Why didn't the Catholic priest win the gold medal?
Because he likes to come in a little behind.

BA-ZING!

Anyway, I've been bored and spending way too much time on YouTube.-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RkxplN3EKQ

Events coming up-
I'm going to go see Muse on the 21st.
Sometime thereafter I'm going to get a decent sized tattoo on my chest.
And then I'll have my birthday festivities, which should involve some form of liquor.

Gasp, covers face

So the neighbors moved. The house has a 'Sold' sign on it. Which means nothing in the grand scheme of things, especially given that I don't talk to any of them. The thing about it is, I was getting free wireless internet access from them. FAST internet access. Now I have to resort to using my sister's dsl connection until the 29th, when the AT&T guy comes by to set up my phoneline. And dsl is fast and all, but I got spoiled on the high speed wifi. There was one point where I used someone's dialup connection and nearly had a heart attack.

Anyway, the countdown is on for a number of things.

-My 2 year Gap Anniversary May 30
-Kings of Leon June 10
-Skinny Puppy June 22
-And One June 23
-Jury Duty Week of June 25
-Possible week in Mexico, Sometime in August

Oh! I made a coworker of mine a cd which I'm entitling 'CD of Infinite Sadness; Volume 1.' He's a quiet guy. Loves his British alt-rock. I think he'll be quite pleased.

That is all.

Lots of concerts lately.

Cinco de Mayo was awesome. I got to see the Chili Peppers and Eddie Vedder. Better still, there was a free Mexican buffet and an open bar. Nothing says independence like lots of Mexican food and alcohol. There were almost several fights, which is hilarious, as it was a charity event. That'll teach them to have an open bar. And also, the guitarist for the Peppers is GOD.

And tomorrow is Wolfmother!
It'll be my second time seeing them.

WOOO-HOOO!

I Think I'm In Love...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEieFuIWPYc

Just... just watch it.

In Which The Usual Is Stated

Sunday I woke up at 6:00a.m. to get ready for the MS walk. It was a lot slower a pace than I envisioned. Granted, everyone is going their own speed, but I had to stay with my group of Gap-ers so we could take a picture in the end. Made a three mile walk an hour (give or take.) Then a quick bite at an Argentinian restaurant with two of my lady coworkers/ friends before heading off to see my friend Javier's show.

It was awesome.

In case I didn't mention, it was centered around family violence prevention, with a hip/hop/ dance backdrop. There's a group of poppers/ lockers called the Jabawokies (sp?) who are awesome in their own right. They go onstage in masks and perform routines I can only compare to the Blue Man Group. Only they dance instead of drum. I did the sound for the D.A.R.E. kids, which went smoothly. I had a great time in front of all that equipment. And KRS-One performed!

Awesome.

So I'm at work. My phone starts ringing. 'We just scored tickets to see the Chili Peppers. You doing anything Cinco de Mayo?' Now I'm going to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers! With Eddie Vedder! And an open bar! And free mexican buffet!

Awesome.

And four days after that, Wolfmother in Anaheim.

I'm spending more money than I should, but I don't care. I never allow myself to have fun and just enjoy life. I'm always so focused on work or too tired from lack of sleep. Or musing to myself about the womens (I know what I said) I can't have. It's a nice change of pace to be so carefree. I'm almost... happy.

Now to sleep. I have work in a few hours.

Of Late

So I haven't written anything down, but that's not to say things haven't been going on.

I went to see Muse play at the Great Western Forum (which kicked ass.)
They came back onstage TWICE and played for a total of just over two hours.

No Intermission

They have so much material it's mindblowing. They didn't even play Dark Shines or Muscle Museum (two of my all time favorite Muse songs.) And it was still awesome. I went with my buddies from the snow trip, a guy from work, and the guy I took to the Oasis unplugged show. Good times.

The only down side was $10 beers. I wanted to get drunk before the show, but the 'Corner Market' didn't have any hard liquor. Lots of light beers, though. I eyeballed a drink that said flavored wine, when, what I assume was a whino, said 'That's a good one. You should buy it.' The $2.25 price tag should've warned me. Horrible, horrible, drink.

Next item.

I went to see my friend Javier's kid's perform.
Little backtracking. He's a dancer for a group called Culture Shock LA. They're a non-profit that teaches kid's dance to keep them off the streets. Otherwise spreading love and such. So they're partnered with D.A.R.E. and several of the dance members go out to middle/ elementary schools to teach.

The night before he gives me a call and asks me if he can borrow one of my guitars (as a prop.) Then invites me to come see them perform. The next thing I know I'm the sound guy. Fairly simple pausing and cues. I got to sit in the sound area with the actual technicians. Very exciting.

And now I have the MS walk to look forward to. I probably would of done it had I just been asked, but I was kind of forced into it. I'm now technically the liason for charitable events for the non-sale team at the Gap. And this all happened within the span of a week.
I know the walk is this Sunday, but I'm not sure where or how to collect money from people/ sign them up, as I wasn't given any information packet or even a sheet with a where and when.
A friend of my sister's actually has MS so its a little easier to raise money, as she does the walk every year and I can sign her up through the gap (whch will match any contributions she gathers.) So I'll do the walk in the morning, and then head over to Long Beach.

That same dancer friend has a big show lined up that day. A little dance/ play being opened by KRS-One. And his D.A.R.E. kid's were asked to perform, as well. And since I know the cues, he wants me to do sound for them again.

It's been a busy time.

The Mars Volta

Was AWESOME!

I forgot to take my camera so all I have are horrible camera pictures.




All right, so we made our way to the pit and once the band got on stage, the pushing got underway. I managed to push and elbow my way to the third row of people and actually had a VERY good view. But about an hour and a half into the performance, all the liquor caught up to me and I had to give up my space. After the bathroom break, the closest I could get was about 20 or 30 rows back.

Cedric was jumping all over the place, climbing on top of speakers and dancing up a storm. And Omar was just RIPPING that guitar. They didn't take one break. Just KEPT PLAYING.

I was drenched in sweat after the first 10 minutes.

Two hour + show.

Followed by In 'n Out.
Um... Burgers.

Good times.

Who likes monsters?

Some Favorites (Artists)

Carlos Huante

Greg 'Craola' Simkins

Basil Gogos

Frank Frazetta

Mike Mignola

Impact T-Minus A Year And A Half...

I'm pretty bored today, having woken up at 5:30a.m. on my day off.

The workers are in the back fixing up my (soon to be) new home and I've made it a point not to look until it's all done. My sister is taking care of most of the arrangements, as landlord.

Anyway, I'm distracting myself with shiny objects and lcd screens.

Myspace Impact.

What a novel idea...

From Newscorp.

I'm willing to give it a chance. Early analysis=Bleak.

Obama is WAY in the lead, as far as friends go. Everyone else is laughable. Obama obviously had a myspace much earlier. And I saw a number of reoccurring friends, which is good. Same people on different canidates' pages. They're getting informed. Good on them. Doesn't say much for the level of interest, though it's still pretty early in the game.

Anyway, I had a point. Several in fact.

One, they don't really get into any specifics. I saw a few speech quotes, a lot of linkage to their websites.

But the whole point of it is to have a concise resource. If I wanted to go to your website, I would've. It's nit-pick-ish (ha ha) but I still don't like it.

Two. Guiliani's profile is set to private.

Well fine then, I didn't want to be your friend anyway. What are you trying to hide?

And who is Kucinich kidding? As if he had a snowball's chance. His platform looks to be impeach Bush, not 'vote for me.'

And he just looks like a weasel.

Literally.

He has the facial construct of a weasel!

John Edwards is older than Obama, but he's got Dick Clark syndrome (who steals the life force from people at Times Square every year, thereby prolonging his life. All those poor souls lose a minute of their lives to that monster. He's a witch, I tell you.) So no one takes him seriously.

Break it down. You've probably heard this, but fuck the 10 man race. It's four people. McCain - Guiliani/ Obama - Clinton.

The only one who's appealing to people is McCain. Guy has a NCAA bracket. And he's challenging YOU, America. And he's a war veteran. AND he's moderate!

Honestly, I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'd vote for McCain. Doesn't mean I will. I won't sway you, America.

McCain/ Obama, 2008. That's my prediction. NO IDEA who'll win.

Take THAT Mitt Romney!

Ala Kaki

So I took a trip to the DMV.

I'm finally getting around to getting a license (I'm buying a car off of a coworker this weekend.) Anyway, since I was out and about I figured I'd get some bags, boards, and boxes for my comics, as the storage situation I have right now isn't quite working (And really, what kind of storage method is having random stacks of books just lying around?)

So the shop opens up at 11:00 and I'm a few blocks away. The time is 10:00. I grab some breakfast and a crossword puzzle and time just flies by. 11:05 rolls around and the lights are off in the shop. The windows are barred. Etc.

That's what I hate about this particular shop. They NEVER open on time. And, just my luck, it starts drizzling. Being the cool cat that I am, I'm in jeans and a tee shirt. So I'm walking down sunset killing some time and I say to myself, 'Self. You haven't been in Sam Ash in a while. Why not check out the gear? It'll surely kill some time.'

So in I go.

Long story short, say hello to my latest aquisition.
(note- This is a generic internet picture. I'll take actual pictures when I'm not so lazy.)


Needless to say, I didn't go back to the comic shop.

Aqueous Transmissions

I haven't done much in the way of blogging in some time.

There are quite a number of happenings in my life that might catch you unawares. But I'll start off with a joke.

So I'm sitting at work (well working, more than sitting) and I'm engaging some coworkers in a comical dialogue.
The following excerpt is not out of context, but may not be all together right.

Daniel- (mentions discover channels, parlays into joke about having two penises)
Ismael- What, like a tortoise?
Daniel- Ye- Wait, they really have two penises?
Ismael- Well, one type. I forget which one. They masturbate while mating.
Daniel- Huh. Because I've heard about guys born with two penises, before. But they always die before puberty.
Ismael- Well, yeah. Probably from a severe heart attack or passing out when all the blood leaves their brains. Hell looking at a girl is damn near a death sentence.
Daniel- Never really thought of that.
Javier- That reminds me of a guy in the guiness book of world records. He has elephant man's disease on his balls.
Daniel- What?
Javier- Yeah, I think the record is for strangest place for elephant man's disease.
Daniel- It must be hard for him to sit down.
Javier- Yeah, he's probably always on the edge of his seat.
Ismael- I imagine he must sit like a genie.